As you know we are moving. Soon now...about a week from now give or take a day or two. This past week I went to get the paper work started for the kids to transfer schools. I have no worry about Dakota other than the normal adjustment stuff, but really I am not worried and have no energy left to worry about her changing schools. Not that I don't love her as much as I do Joshua but to be honest I am so very worried about him in this, and have had to fight to get him what he needs so far, that it takes all I have leaving little left to worry about her. You see, Dakota is a very smart girl (she was talking at 8 months, full sentences by 10 months, she has been reading since you was barely 4, she has been in the school's TAG (talented & gifted) program last school year & made it again for this one). She is very friendly and should have no trouble making friends. Unfair? Maybe. But I love her just as much but she needs so much less....
But Joshua...Here in NJ he is still in pre-k (to be in Kindergarden he would need to be 5 by Oct 31st & his b-day is Nov 14th) and he only goes to school from 8-12 (including travel time on the bus, school is 8:55-11:20). In the new school he will be in Kindergarden and will go to school full day (8:15-2:45). Moving is such an adjustment for him as it is. He made sure I packed every piece of paper he hanging on his bedroom wall because he NEEDS (not an overstatement) them all to be hung up in his new room ASAP. He is so routine orientated. Right now he is in an integrated class. There are some special ed kids and some general ed kids, 2 teachers and an aide. In the new school, which is on the next corner from the new place, so I will walk them to and from school each day, there was no room left in the integrated class. So I had a choice. Have him bussed to a school with a seat, which fill up fast and could be pretty far from home making his day a lot longer, put him in general ed and ask for related services so he can get the speech & OT he needs or put him in a self-contained class (all special ed). The school by us had 1 seat left in that special ed room. I guess in a perfect world I would want him in the integrated room, general ed was out, he isn't ready for that, and I am not thrilled with him being bussed so I took the special ed seat for him. I am hoping I did the right thing but honestly the idea of him even going into Kindergarden yet has me nervous...I feel like it is too soon. I know that most if not all autistic kids, many who are a lot more severe than Joshie, go to school. I just don't feel he or I are ready for this...He naps most days, how will this mess with his sleep habits, which suck to be honest...And all the routine changes...Will he start to have more meltdowns?
Then on top of this I feel like the right thing to do for him is to skip his flu shot this year because of the risk to kids like him from the thimerosal. I have never refused a vaccine before even when I was worried about them, the most I did was demand a modified schedule so the kids didn't get so many at once. But without enough being known for sure about what it does to these kids we are opting out. I am not sure if I am going to have trouble with the NYC schools, but if we were staying here I would have trouble with the NJ schools system as kids his age are required to have the flu shot to be allowed in school.
I feel like I am making the right choices here but worry if I truly am.
I love my kids and want to protect them.......
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7 comments:
Only you know what's right and as soon as you see something out of place, you'll fix it, ASAP. Trust your gut and I have all the faith in the world that my lil Joshie Poo will do just perfect!
Wendy, you're a great mom, so I'm sure what you decide will be fine for Josh! Also, I looked, and you should be fine with the flu vaccine issue! Looks to me like New Jersey just has really tough rules.
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/education/2010/09/08/2010-09-08_schools_wont_be_giving_flu_vaccines_this_year.html
Also, I am Maryann. Don't know why it says Susie. :D
I am sure you're making the right choices Wendy - massive hugs to all xxx
Test - I just tried to write two response and they both failed. If this one goes through, I'm going to freak.
Ok, I'm back for round two: Here is what I know. You are incredible. Here's how I can tell -
I prosecuted child abuse cases for 3 years. Clearly this is not a coincidence. Do you know how many parents don't give a flying fuck? Do you know how many parents do not even care if their children go to school (lay alone agonize over whether or not it's the right environment)? You have taken the time to do research while in the middle of uprooting your entire life. I'm not a mother (Thank God), many people will feel I should not be commenting at all. However, I feel I have the right. Nobody gets things right all the time. However, you are trying to take the steps necessary to do the right thing by BOTH your children. That is something MANY (dare I say most) DO NOT. I love you. Wendy
Wendy, thank you. I was talking about this in therapy today. How my life for the past almost 5 years has been keeping things even for Joshie, even before we knew what the name was for how he is, that I felt I was letting Koti, who is such an easy girl, slip through the cracks and this move made me see it. And then trying to do right by them...well I didn't have that from my parents so I am learning as I go what that looks like, but coming from you, a friend and someone who has seen some of the worst parents can do to their kids in the cases you saw, it means a lot that I seem to be a good mom!! <3
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