...but that wouldn't work since one of my issues has me thinking why bother since no one would buy one *giggle*
I wish I could be the pretty, confident, skinny, girl. You know the kind, the one who always walks with her head up, says what she thinks, doesn't take crap from anyone but doesn't look for the dark cloud to be always over her head. The one who can wear a halo and horns with equal ease.
I mostly want to be confident and be able to, as was said to me recently, just relax and be content. But I can't. I worry, I cringe at the things I think and feel and it makes me sick to my stomach. I don't like it.
I can't be the only one. I am sure at least one other person spends time being Chicken Little running around thinking the sky is falling. Who else looks for monsters under the bed? Is sure that people are not being honest with them or are out to hurt them? Has a hard time trusting, maybe with good reason maybe just because it is in your nature?
We are moving. We are leaving one house for another and one state for another. I am trying to think of it as a chance to start over. Make a fresh start. Reinvent myself. I want to step out and be more social. I found these really pretty wine glasses that Jay got me on the closest thing to a vacation we have ever done. We went to Lancaster PA for Christmas about 6 years ago and in an outlet he got me this set. We went to a winery and he got me a bottle of wine. I drank the wine when we got home but never used these glasses. So when we are all settled in I want to have a few girlfriends over and have a wine & cheese type gab fest and break out my glasses as a symbol of breaking out the new me. Problem is that I don't know if I can do this, who would come? I have a friend in NYC I have seen twice after not seeing her for 15 or more years, I have a friend in Jersey City who might come if I have juice because she went and ended up pregnant (crazy bitch), I have a new friend I am getting to know who lives in NYC who could probably benefit from this as much as I could but am not sure it is appropriate to ask her and I have another NYC friend who I could ask as long I as promise the food I serve won't kill her. But can you see where this is going? I am filled with doubt about my ability to be a good hostess, the fact I know zero about wine & cheese parties (do you serve brie with a red or white?), that the husband would be ok with this and the real issue, that anyone would want to come.
So if I was having a party and invited you, would you come? And if you did and I served the wrong foods & wines and made a huge mess (which is very likely, I am a klutz of epic proportions) would you still be glad to be there? You know what I think.....
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10 comments:
goof. i'd come!
first off - i have never been to a wine and cheese party, and i'd probably end up DRINKING the wrong thing with the wrong cheese.
i'd be more worried that i would come off looking like a fool and i would never notice any minor faux pas you might make. and by minor, i mean "huge messes" (isn't that what parties are for?), etc.
anyone who comes to a wine-and-cheese party with anything but relaxing and having a good time on their mind has their own issues!
ohio's not all THAT far (although i do come with baggage. i am def not sure anyone would appreciate the very-friendly-but-laid-back springer spaniel!)
i will lend you a bit of my gryff-side and say, GO FOR IT! meetups rock :)
Just be yourself, and be happy with yourself, Wendy :-) I'm not exactly a social party person - takes me all my time to make a effort to attend a family celebration! - but it's about you had some fun, Wendy - enjoy! xxx
Of COURSE I would come to your party.
I think confidence in yourself comes from being loved, knowing how to love back, not being afraid to make mistakes, learning from the mistakes you do make, liking yourself and saying at least once a day "I did a good job there"...
It is a slow process, but worth the effort.
And thank you for stopping by my little party today. I am having a ball!
Well, as long as you are not allergic to cat hairs, I would come and purr nicely! I came to visit on my way home from Donna's house and you are welcome to visit mine. I make a mess of entertaining too.
I would definately be there if you promised to have a brownie for me....lol!!! Girl, I miss you so much....you wouldn't even have to lure me there with the promise of wine (not a fan anyway) You are a very special person and it is about time you start feeling good. I am so proud of all you've accomplished. You have done something that most people cannot do (me included...darn darn darn...it must be those brownies) BTW...where in NY are you headed??? Are you going back to LI???
Oh, I AM that skinny, confident girl. Unfortunately she's been kidnapped by an ugly body (to quote Stockard Channing in "The Girl Most Likely To").
*sigh* There's always something, isn't there?
Dear Wen,
have faith in yourself and simply be who you are. It's no use trying to be someone you're not only to fit in .... because in the end, you gotta do what makes YOU happy, you know? The ones that are lucky enough to call you a friend are your friends because they respect and love you EXACTLY the way you are. So honestly, keep doing whatever YOU feel comfy with, stay genuine and you'll soon realize that your friends value someone who stays true to herself more than knowing yet another pretty, skinny and - as a matter of fact - insanely boring girl. Fact.
Now, where's my glass of wine???
I wouldn't come b/c I'm too socially awkward - however, if I did I would be wasted upon arrival. Therefore, I would have no idea what you were serving, and I'd certainly be in no position to judge. I
f I was the person I want to be, I would 100% attend. Wine and cheese and paring is unimportant to me. I care about the company, and there is no doubt that would be amazing!
Aww Wendy, you were one of the people I was referring to and I would HAVE TO HAVE YOU there, so if you needed I would come get you and hold your hand and feed you booze the whole way over!!! We could be awkward together!!!
Thank you all for the encouragement, I am going to do this as soon as I get the place presentable!!
If I lived near you, I would go to your party!! I love love love wine and cheese parties!
I'm a complete and total introvert, so I know all about social anxieties--especially about having social functions in my home. I think if you had at least one good friend in attendance, someone who would be your support, then you're set. You could invite a million strangers over, as long as you have that one person by your side letting you know it's all going to be okay.
So, do it! Invite your new neighbors, if you want. It would be such a great way to meet new people and introduce yourself and the fun new girl on the block.
xoxoxoxox
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