The Magicians by Lev Grossman pt 1

This is going to be a 2 part post the 2nd part coming when I finish the book. The book is Lev Grossman's new novel THE MAGICIANS. If you were at Leaky Con you probably read the excerpt that was in our bag. If you were not there, The Magician is a novel by Lev Grossman that being only 41 pages in I can tell you is a must read. Heck I could have told you that from just the first chapter which was what was in my Leaky Con bag. I was in tears reading it and now on page 41 my tears are back and I feel like something in me has come full circle from the thought in the first chapter that had me in tears and the thought in this one that brought them back. So moved and touched by it that I am forced to blog about it or explode with it!! it gives words to something I have been feeling...Words I really wish I could have wrote on my own but will instead thank Mr. Grossman for (oh and if you are not, follow the man on twitter here).

In chapter 1 on page page 5 we are told by Quentin (the main character of the book) that he should be happy but isn't. These are his words to the reader:

"I should be happy." "I am young and alive and healthy. I have good friends. I have two reasonably intact parents. I am a solid member of the middle-middle class. My GPA is a number higher than most people even realize it is possible for a GPA to be."

but in spite of having all of this he goes on:

"..Quentin knew he wasn't happy. Why not? He had painstakingly assembled all the ingredients of happiness. he had performed the necessary rituals, spoken the words, lit the candles, made the sacrifices. But happiness like a disobedient spirit refused to come. He couldn't think what else to do."

This really gives words, breathes life into what I have felt like pretty much my entire life. The world says be happy because no matter what you are going through there are those who are dealing with worse. But it just wouldn't come...this feeling...

But lately it has been changing...and full circle on the thought 36 pages later...

about Quentin "He feels himself unclench a little. Just slightly, he stopped bracing for the blow from above, and for the first time he seriously considered the idea that it might not come at all." "Sometimes he burst out laughing out of nowhere, for no reason. He was experimenting cautiously with the idea of being happy, dipping an uncertain toe into those intoxicatingly carbonated waters. It wasn't something he'd had much practice at."

This is so beautiful to me. It is like a bubble has popped in my brain freeing the words that were trapped. This is what I have been feeling, experiencing. I have stopped waiting for the next bad thing, the next pain, the next betrayal and just started living and breathing...and trying on happy like a new outfit...

I can't wait to finish the book and will for sure be posting a review...the above should not spoil you if you have not read it yet so I didn't include a warning...If you read just one more book this year or this lifetime, read this one.