A couple of things happened today to make me think about names..mine being one of them.
First of during a Skype chat with some friends about the final book in The Hunger Games trilogy, Mockingjay one of the things said inspired a thought in me about the power of a name (I can't be more specific because I am aware some people may not have read it yet).
The second was I started reading the blog of someone else named Wendy. I found her because Jay started following her on Twitter and some how she found my blog and it moved her. I replied to her latest blog post and in her reply to my reply she mentioned loving my name. In this instance, because she is what I am pretty sure is a cool person I am going to end up liking very much, as I already like her lots and don't even really know her yet, I love my name. In sharing it with her.
But otherwise, in general I hate my name. I think knowing our name gives people power over us. It allows them to use it in ways that can be hurtful. The names people call each other can do as much damage as a slap. The "n" word, bitch, whore, fag, cunt, slut....these are not nice names to call someone. Hell one is so bad I can't even type it out. My name was given to me as most peoples are, by my parents. My mother specifically. I didn't know the feeling for what it was until very recently, but for as long as I can remember I didn't want to be called Wendy. My friends call me Wen. Jay calls me all the normal nicknames couples use, hun, babe, love, dear, sweetie (don't get me started on this one right Jay? LMAO) etc...and then there are a few specific to us, he calls me Birdie & recently added Red to the mix. I love these names. My kids call me mom, mommy, mama..and I love these names. I have been called funny, smart, snarky, friend, nerd..I love these names too.
My friend Ann hates Anne of Green Gables because of Anne's rant on needing Ann spelled Anne...
I have recently realized a necklace I have that was a gift from my mother on her wedding day last year and I had worn everyday since, was feeling like it was physically choking me. I had to take it off and pack it away and it felt like a relief to take it off. I think the same thing holds over to my name. My relationship with my parents has been so toxic that anything connected with them feels like it has its hands around my neck & is squeezing.
Names are such powerful things!!!
Words hold so much power!!
I hope my words make you feel...sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes happy & make you laugh, but that you feel...that's the power I want to have..but never to harm..
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I have called you Wendy from the moment I met you (online, lol). There are a couple of reasons for this. One, I don't like shortening names. You are right in that names have power; however, they only have the power that you allow others. They don't provide power over you--they provide the power in others that you inspire. When I hear the name "Wendy," I think of you and who I know you to be, and the emotions that I have for you come out and, I feel, help me to be a better person.
The second reason comes from the meaning of your name. Names mean different things to different people, and the meaning of your name, according to the baby name sites (two are all that I looked at) fit you to a T! One said that your name means "fair one." I agree with this--I think you are fair (beautiful) in appearance and personality, and you are fair in your dealings with other people. The other one said that your name means "friend." I can think of nothing better than to call you my friend. My Wendy. I love your name because I love you. Your name holds the power to make me feel warm and fuzzy.
So you do have that power. But it's not so much your name, but the person associated with it, and her actions. You give your name as much power as you want, but never EVER let anyone take that power from you!
There is a lot of power in a name. Mine of course, was given to me by my parents, and I actually share it with a cousin, which sometimes was confusing.
Having a name like mine made me the brunt of many jokes.. mainly due to the movies Grease,and Annie.
If I have heard "look at me I'm Sandra Dee.. sung badly once.. I have heard it hundreds!
What people call you can only have power over you if you allow it to.
On a funny note... if I had ever had a younger sister.. my parents had every intetion on naming her Wendy. Yea... Cindy, Sandy and Wendy. Kind of musical!!
Might be a really good idea to smudge that necklace with some white sage and put it away permanently. Also I would smudge the new house for a nice fresh start!!
I think your name is great :-) I have never been a fan of shortening names, but Wendy is a friendly name, for me! :)
Ok, I am back up, and I just read this one. Re: the Wendy thing: honestly, I always hated it. I threw it out b/c I was so moved by your post I just need to find something to lighten the mood. My mind was spinning from what I had just drudged up. I never liked Wendy for several reasons:
1. I was in the 3rd or 4th grad when the Where's the Beef Slogan came up. Obviously I was mortified.
2. My grandpa's real name is Samuel. He was a Specialist during the 1920's on Wall Street. There were no Jews really allowed down there at the time. Therefore he changed his name from Samuel Greenberg to William Greene. Hence, I am named after someone who was disguising their true identity. I 100% understand why he had to do this. However, I do NOT understand why my mom could not name me after Samuel - that was the name he grew up using. It was his real name. If I want to be dramatic, I could say I was set up to act "as if". If I want to push it further I could do that too. I won't go there. Anyway, as for the necklace, I can only imagine how liberating it must have felt to take it off. Quite frankly I would have thrown it away. When I got married, I asked my mom to wear a beautiful heart diamond my dad had given her the day I was born. I did not have much real jewelry, and I thought it would look nice. She said no. Finally my father stepped in and demanded I be allowed to wear it. For better or worse, it was my wedding day? WTF? She never wears her jewelry. How could it have hurt her to just say yes? So bottom line, sometime I just throw stuff out there b/c I don't know what else to do. Using our name is one such example. I hope this post clears up that I too have no real attachment to the five letters put on my birth certificate. Love, (Wendy)
Wendy, I remember the "Where's the beef" thing too and it made school a pain. I must have heard some joke about it at least a billion times. I am named after my mother's mother. The whole Jewish naming thing...I guess it could have been worse, I would have been Wilma (my grandmother's name).
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