This is my second posting that someone else inspired me to write. Melissa I love you and this is for you, and me & girls everywhere, but for you <3
I spent the day yesterday with one of my dearest friends, Eileen. Among the many things we talked about I made a statement to her that while I know I am buy no means beautiful, I wanted to feel pretty. This was brought on by some body issues I have since losing so much weight. Then Melissa said to me she wanted to get a tan. This cracked me up because she is a book nerd, fair skinned & blonde...those things don't really lend themselves to getting a tan...But I asked her why because I suspected there was more to it than just sunlight. I was correct.
She wants to get a makeover. She wants to be pretty. I think she is very pretty. She has an amazingly bright & warm smile that goes all the way to her eyes. She is a teacher and loves it. She loves music and the Red Sox. She has a heart bigger then the Grand Canyon. And lord only knows why, but she loves me. I think she is beautiful!!! But she doesn't.
I think I am not much to look at. Not fell out of the ugly tree hitting every branch on the way down bad, but not much. Eileen said to me you're not a super model but you are very pretty. And I love that when I made my statement she didn't jump right in and say of course you are beautiful but rather took a breath and then spoke. When I made the mistake of trying to explain this to Jay, who really is my bestie, but poor thing, he is a guy (no offense to my male readers, I love guys) and just doesn't get it. He felt like he had to tell me I was beautiful but that is what a husband/bestie thinks they need to say. Eileen being a girl too and a good enough friend to feel comfortable being 1000000% honest didn't.
But why is this an issue? Why does Melissa want to go tanning? Why do I feel less than good enough in the looks department? Why do we women spend countless hours and money on waxing, manicures, plucking, cosmetics, clothes, spandex underwear etc? Why is what I said about Melissa not true to her? Why is what Jay & Eileen said to me not filling the void?
I have a 9 year old daughter and I do not want this torment for her. But she will probably go through it.
I think beautiful should be a verb....it is as it does!!!!
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Haha Wendy, you aren't a supermodel because there are only, what, five in the whole world? And the very definition of supermodel is "completely unattainable by everyone but those five people." Pretty to me is just what you were getting at, big smiles that really mean something, eyes that light up with warmth and love (I was totally noticing your face and eyes lightening up when I was telling you my "story" and I was thinking "pretty girl" even as I was gushing away). Pretty is being open, and welcoming, and drawing people in with your whole self- if you are pretty on the inside you are pretty on the outside, guaranteed. Who wants to look at an ugly scowl or narrowing, jealous eyes? No one! You don't think you are pretty on the outside, because you have spent many former years not feeling pretty on the inside no matter what you look like in the mirror. As your journey progresses and you feel better all over, as you gain confidence and get out into the world more (as you are already doing) you will start believing your friends and husband. It's all a process! Melissa, DON"T GO TANNING. If you do, you WILL NOT be pretty in 15 years. Just sayin'. Eileen
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