The Magicians by Lev Grossman pt 2

I am so bothered that it took me so long to get to this post. I never take this long to read a book, especially when it is a book I am so very much enjoying. Sadly I let time get away from me doing something else and well while I cant go back and fix it, I have solved the problem for now and will blog on it later. I finished this book yesterday and I am still taking it all on but wanted to share my thoughts and feelings while they were fresh, so I can not promise that there wont be a part 3.

*SPOILER ALERT*

if you have not read the book you are officially warned that I am going to mention things that will spoil you. I wont be offended if you choose to leave now and come back at a later date.

I read my friend Daniel's review of the book just before I started (it is here if you want the take of a very smart young man) and I have a different view on it then he though I do think he makes some interesting and very good points. I didn't feel like I was reading a novel with a plot of first A happens which leads to B and so on all neatly tied up at the end or in some cases left in such a way that you know a sequel is coming. However if you read this book expecting that then you might be left feeling as Daniel did at the end. Also, as a lover of the Harry Potter series I could not help but notice that there are many nods to it here. But the school that Quintin goes to is more American college that English wizarding school. Yes they learn magic but it is not in the same way Harry and crew learn it.

I felt like I was getting a look into the life of a young man who could not quite grasp life and was floundering his way along. Sometimes he felt like he was just about there, to the place where he could be happy even though life was not perfect but then he would be reminded that nope, he was still in the same crappy place he has always felt himself to be. It was not a pretty picture. At times Q's life was ugly, hard, cold, painful. Many times caused by his own thoughts and actions. He kept looking for HAPPY and PEACE to find him. There are time he has what he needs in his hands and we get to watch him blow it. He is in every way, real, human, imperfect.

I was profoundly moved by the core group of characters and their flaws and short comings. For me it was clear from chapter one (which I blogged about before) that this was not going to be a neat, clean, happily ever after fairy tale. It was gritty and messy, like life. There are moments that are cringe worthy for sure. Quintin cheating on Alice for example. You know, as does Q that it is a HUGE mistake, but as often happens, we know something to be the most wrong thing on earth and just cant stop ourselves from doing it anyway.

Quintin and crew find a way to Fillory, the setting of his favorite novels. He thinks that the happy life he has been waiting for but which has never come to him will be waiting for him there. The others have their own ideas of what they hope to get out of the place, mostly adventure and glory. It turns out to be anything but.

By the end, so numbed by Alice's death and everything else he experienced in Fillory Quintin finds himself alone. He thinks he wants that, as it is easier than letting people in and feeling things. Being open has given him only pain and feeling nothing is better than hurting isn't it? And here is the lesson he has learned, and the message I am guessing Mr. Grossman was trying to share. The answer is no. Life is messy and hard and ugly yes. But it is also filled with love, and happy times. With joy and success. These things are not out there somewhere in some far off fantasy land. They are here. And we need to see them right next to the pain, the failures, the trials and struggles. No one is going to just wave a magic wand or wag a magic finger and make us feel whole and happy. It is not given but worked for. We are not owed it but it is there for us. The real question is can we see it in the everyday and take it and hold it. Quentin learns this at the end. That he can feel and live and fail and fly...And he does...with those who are flawed like him but love him anyway...

Maybe this spoke to me because it is what I have been trying to figure out since I have peeled away the stuff I was hiding under all the weight I was carrying. I will struggle and make mistakes and hurt and be hurt. I will fail, I will fall, I will screw up royally. But if I let myself I will also be happy and I can fly...Yep, at the same time. Because life is what it is. In the words of a wonderful children's singer, Laurie Berkener, I'm a mess, I'm a mess, I am big old messy mess...

But it is living and that is the wonder of it all!!!